This blog post is AI-generated by Claude and inspired by the original PolyTripper video linked below.
Hi Language Buddy!
I hope you had a productive week. This week is part two of what I started last time—how to handle when someone wants to speak a language with you that you don't want to speak with them. This week, that person is going to be you.
If you've ever visited a foreign country wanting to speak the local language, you might have run into this super annoying situation: people realize you're a native English speaker and suddenly switch to English with you.
This really got me upset in the beginning. I took all this time and effort to learn the language, I came here to honor you, and then you just speak English to me? You're basically giving me the message that my French, Spanish, Dutch, or Swedish isn't good enough.
What really hurt was feeling like you're making it more difficult for me to integrate into this society by depriving me of the opportunity to speak the language I worked so hard to learn.
After a while, I realized most people aren't doing it intentionally or maliciously. The reality is that most people don't have the ability to travel to another country—a lot of people don't do that.
Many people I'd speak with had only been to the US once or never been at all. Also, the reality is that English is a very important language—much more important that other people know English than it is that I know Swedish or Dutch, for example.
So a lot of their reasons for wanting to practice with you are valid.
But when somebody just starts speaking English with you, it shows a lack of respect similar to the unintentional lack of respect when you start speaking Spanish to someone without getting confirmation they want to speak that language with you.
I have several tactics to deal with this, developed since my twenties. Some are less nice than others, but here they are:
If you don't want to stop the conversation for a heart-to-heart about why it's important to speak in their language, just continue speaking in the language you're trying to practice.
If you're in Holland trying to speak Dutch and they switch to English, keep speaking Dutch. It becomes a question of how empathetic the other person is. If they're not empathetic, they'll keep imposing their way and you have to decide whether you want to escalate or not.
But often, just continuing in the target language is enough to make them see your preference and switch back.
When I was younger, I'd sometimes be mean about it—I'd pretend like I didn't understand them even though I did. I don't advise this. I was young and immature. Don't do that.
Finally, if I really want to address it directly and I'm not feeling lazy about fighting them, I'll say: "It's really important for me to speak this language. Is it okay if we speak Dutch? That's what I'm here for."
Just be honest. I've gotten really good at that now.
With Spanish, Italian, and French, you don't have a lot of people in those countries who want to switch to English with you. Those countries are really nice for learning languages.
With Dutch and Swedish? They suck. I'm sorry, there's no way to sugarcoat it—they always want to speak English with you.
Now my Dutch is better than most Dutch people's English, so that doesn't happen to me anymore (I also have a Dutch wife). But with Swedish, with very few exceptions, I get the feeling they'll either humor you with a few words then switch back to English, or they won't even bother and just switch to English because they feel like they have the God-given right to speak English with everyone—but people don't have that same right to speak Swedish to them.
I'm sorry, Swedish people, but I'm right.
Research helps explain this phenomenon:
Accommodation theory: Studies show people naturally adjust their language to what they perceive as most comfortable for their conversation partner.
English dominance: Research indicates that in many countries, English proficiency is seen as a valuable skill to practice and display.
Cultural politeness: Some cultures view switching to English as being helpful and accommodating to foreigners.
Status dynamics: Speaking English can be perceived as demonstrating education and worldliness in certain contexts.
Practice motivation: Many people genuinely see native English speakers as rare opportunities to practice English.
This issue affects learners because it:
Limits practice opportunities: You lose chances to use the language you've studied.
Undermines confidence: Constant switching can make you feel your skills aren't adequate.
Prevents integration: Language practice is crucial for cultural and social integration.
Wastes learning investment: Time and money spent learning feels invalidated.
Creates frustration cycles: Negative experiences can reduce motivation to continue learning.
I now have a black belt in sticking up for myself when it comes to linguistic exchanges—unless I'm feeling charitable. If you're feeling charitable and find it okay to speak English, by all means speak English. I'm not saying pick a fight on all occasions.
But when I want to stick up for myself, I've gotten really good at it.
I remember once in Italy, I was speaking Italian and one person tried a couple sentences in English. When I just kept sticking with Italian, they gave up.
Then an American girl came in and they instantly all started speaking English with her. I could feel her disappointment—and as an empathetic person, I felt it too.
I went up to her afterwards and said, "Stick up for yourself. Don't give up—just stick up for yourself." She was actually living there long-term, so it was really important for her to learn the language.
Different countries have different patterns:
Romance language countries: Generally more supportive of foreigners practicing the local language.
Germanic countries (especially Scandinavia): Strong tendency to switch to English immediately.
Economic factors: Wealthier countries with high English proficiency are more likely to switch.
Tourist exposure: Areas with lots of English-speaking tourists default to English more quickly.
Choose approaches that match your comfort level:
For non-confrontational types: Use persistence rather than direct confrontation—just keep speaking the target language.
For direct communicators: Politely explain your learning goals and ask for their support.
For social types: Frame it as mutual benefit—you practice their language, they can practice English later.
For confident speakers: Demonstrate your ability level quickly so they realize you don't need English accommodation.
Learning to stick up for yourself linguistically has broader benefits:
Communication confidence: Asserting your language needs builds general communication skills.
Cultural integration: Speaking the local language opens doors that English communication doesn't.
Respect building: People often respect learners who are serious about the language.
Authentic relationships: Deeper connections form when you communicate in someone's native language.
Learning acceleration: More practice opportunities lead to faster improvement.
Sometimes accommodation makes sense:
Emergency situations: Clear communication takes priority over practice.
Professional contexts: Work environments may require English for clarity.
Time constraints: Quick transactions might be more efficient in English.
Other person's goals: If they genuinely need English practice for important reasons.
Social harmony: When insisting on the local language would create conflict or discomfort.
That moment in Italy when I saw the American girl's disappointment really stuck with me. We language learners need to support each other in these situations.
If you see another foreigner struggling with unwanted language switching, consider offering encouragement or advice—we're all in this together.
To develop confidence in language advocacy:
Practice phrases: Prepare polite but firm responses for language switching situations.
Build competence: The better your skills, the easier it is to demonstrate you don't need English accommodation.
Start small: Practice asserting language preferences in low-stakes situations first.
Find allies: Connect with other language learners who face similar challenges.
Remember your goals: Keep your language learning objectives clear to stay motivated.
You have to stick up for yourself and be honest with people. If it comes to that, do it—or else just keep talking the language anyway.
That's part two: defending your right to practice the language you've worked so hard to learn.
Take care, and I'll see you next week!
